Missing Person, Murder, and Bloodlust

Another chicken went missing today. That’s three in a month. This time it was an Easter Egger. Her name was Ginger. She never even got a chance to lay eggs – she was only four months old.

Her (presumed) death is a mystery. There was a hawk circling nearby earlier today, but I watched it leave, and generally the chickens are too nervous to go out in the open when there’s a hawk about.

At around 7:00PM, I decided to go check to see if Ginger had somehow reappeared. She had not. But an opossum had appeared in the tool room – hiding in a back corner. Could he/she have been our predator? Very likely. Either way, he (I’ll assume it was a he) had eaten the kitty’s food and knocked over his water bowl. Were it not enough of an offense for a predator to even set foot on our property, tampering with the Whiz Chiz’s food is a crime with only one punishment.

I fashioned a homemade bayonet by duct-taping a machete to a pole, and released my inner Rambo, complete with primal screams. When he was too wounded to do anything but play dead, I dragged him outside and shot him in the head. Twice.

Don’t. Touch. My. Chickens.

You may think me cruel for punishing the creature when I had no proof of his guilt. To that, I say: If he killed my chicken, he received his due reward; if he did not kill my chicken, I saved the life of one he might soon have killed. None are innocent.

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8 Responses to Missing Person, Murder, and Bloodlust

  1. john & Carri says:

    What? No due process? No trial before a jury of his possum peers? Why do you assume that because he ate cat chow, he presumably ate your chicken? I have a possum visiting the back porch every night dining on my cat’s food – but he hasn’t eaten my cat…yet. I believe that possums are much maligned

  2. friendmouse says:

    So sad about that Easter Egger…you had high hopes and much invested into her now non-existent life. Not that it matters outside of a quest for information, but had the egger been missing long? If not, then perhaps there would have been proof in stomach of now deceased marsupial. Dah, well…it matters none. What’s done is done, and there is no shortage of possums. You may need to invest in a surveillance camera/system. Perhaps that would have also answered what happened to goat #1’s (can’t remember her name right now) collar and bell. Not that this information would change what had occurred, but information can be powerful and affect the future. Keep up the great work!

  3. safestorm says:

    Laughing. Only wish that you could have told me the story in person or over the phone, just to hear your inflections and masterful pause. Read it to my team here at work and they got a kick out of it. Then we discussed the primal intensity of hand-to-hand combat.
    Miss you my friend.

  4. Christina says:

    why didn’t you video this???

  5. Anthony says:

    …and you wonder why I live in the city.

    • Because of crazy possums or crazy people?
      Even if it’s the latter, I don’t think you’ll find many people to agree that there are less crazy people in the city than in the country. Then again, I guess it depends upon whom you ask.

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